Digital Dating: 10 Reasons to Un-Friend Your Ex

Friday, March 4, 2011

The wonderful world of online social networking adds a little more work to breakups. After you've sent back his stuff and deleted his number from your cell phone there's still one more thing you've got to do: un-friend your ex on Facebook. I know what you're thinking. You both decided you still want to be friends and you don't want to upset him by shutting him out. Plus, isn't it petty if you un-friend him? Take it from someone who remained friends with the ex on Facebook and in real life; you're better off making a clean break.

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Here are ten reasons why you should un-friend your ex after it's over.

1. You think he's sleeping with every girl he takes a picture with

There is a time period when the wounds are still fresh. You two have decided to be friends, but are choosing not to hang out with each other. All of a sudden, you know nothing about his social life and you swear that girl that's kissing his cheek at the bar around the corner from your apartment is having sex with him. You stare at this photo and compare yourself to her for the rest of the day.

2. You use your status updates to try to prove you're having more fun than he is

If a man breaks up with you, your bruised pride instantly stands up, brushes its shoulders off and goes into showoff mode. You feel an obligation to prove that you're a fun and exciting woman who he just couldn't handle. You begin posting messages like, "I had so much fun partying 'til 5 a.m. last night. I love my life!"

3. You over analyze/internalize his status updates

This generally happens right after a breakup. You read every single status update he writes and think, "What is that supposed to mean? Is he talking about me." Then you retaliate with some really passive-aggressive status update of your own, like "Some men are so childish."

4. Stalking him cuts down on your productivity

If you're a fickle Facebook user, your social networking usage will increase exponentially after a breakup as you try to connect with old friends and try to keep up with your ex -- even though he's not around. We've all thought, I'll just engage in a little Facebook ex-stalking during my break and ended up clicking through his photos and reading his wall posts for over an hour. All of a sudden it's 5 p.m. and the spreadsheet you were working on is not done and you're going to have to stay late to finish it.

5. His status updates remind you of how stupid he could be

You don't know what you ever saw in him and every time one of his status updates pops up on your "News Feed" you're reminded that you two have nothing in common. His crude jokes make you cringe and the things he gets excited about make you nauseous.

6. His photos remind you of how good things were

Even if he was kind enough to take down the shots of you two canoodling in his living room, the photos of him chilling with his friends in his backyard will ultimately remind you of all the times that you were right by his side in that backyard. All of a sudden, you'll be crying to your girlfriends about how much you miss being with him. You forgot all about how he wouldn't let you touch his sacred backyard grill or how he would ignore you when all of his friends came over.

7. His photos remind you of how lame he sometimes was

You'll be offended every time you browse his photos and see him in that dumb t-shirt that reads "Hooray for Boobies." Remember how you made him swear he would never wear it again. It's back! Keep clicking through. There'll be another photo of him playing beer pong and he'll probably be wearing another obnoxious t-shirt.

8. You censor your photos because of what he'll think

Maybe you don't want him to know that you've moved on, because you don't want to hurt his feelings. Suddenly, you're wondering if you should post that picture of you and the new guy you're crushing on in your "Wall Photos."

9. You can read what his friends say about you

Once he changes his relationship status, there will be an onslaught of encouraging words from his friends. Wait 'til you read, "She wasn't good enough for you anyway, man," on his "Wall." You're going to lose it. Don't say we didn't warn you.

10. It will be harder for you to move on

While you two are not together in real life, you're still very much in each other's virtual lives. You know what he was up to on Saturday night and he knows what you're thinking about on a random Tuesday afternoon.

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