Dating: A Lesson About Why Men Don’t Pursue

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Came Across this  and Just had to share ....... :)

Upon talking with a friend the other day, she brought up the question of men and why it seems that we often lack the “pursuit” of women. Where has it gone? Why don’t men pursue women like they used to?
Let me give you a hypothetical situation (one that will probably speak more to the ladies): You’re out shopping. You see a gorgeous pair of shoes. I’m talking about nice shoes Charlotte Olympia (for the men,Cesare Paciotti)  perhaps. You’re in love with them and would love to buy them, but upon seeing the price, you realize you need to save a little bit before you can afford them. They’re temporarily unattainable. But you can save up and get them. (And oh, will they be worth it.)

Later that week or maybe the same day, you’re out shopping again and you see a pair, perhaps of Steve Madden shoes, that looks nearly identical to the pair you had seen earlier. They’re not exactly the same, but only you’ll be one of the only ones to know the difference. The biggest difference — the Maddens are much cheaper than the Charlotte Olympia. It’s a pair that you can afford right now, without having to save any money.

Which pair would you buy?

While there are some people who would choose the Charlotte Olympia   (or Cesare Paciotti) over the cheaper alternatives,the majority of folks would take the cheaper pair. However, those who would choose the Charlotte Olympia , would do so because they understand that there is quality attached to the higher cost; they’re are not just expensive for the sake of being expensive.

If you were paying attention, you probably got the analogy: men don’t want to take the time and invest in the pursuit of a relationship when they know they don’t have to. Why would a man pursue a woman when he can just stand still and let them come to him? To quote a friend, “Why pay for the software, when you can download it for free?”

Women have made it to where men don’t have to pursue to get what they want. This isn’t the case for all the women; let me be clear. However, this is one of those times where a few people “ruin the party” for everyone involved.

There are far too many women giving it up, the men know they can get it easy, and thus it becomes a drain to actually pursue a woman. If women would stop being so “easy,” perhaps things would change. (But I understand that might be asking for a miracle.)

Since I’m sure you’re wondering if all men are like that, let me answer the question for you: Yes. All men, at some point in their lives, want what they can get easily and don’t particularly care about the quality of the “merchandise.” The key is that we can grow out of it; we can mature into an understanding that Charlotte Olympia are better than Steve Maddens. But not all people understand this. Some just think that you pay more for them and that’s where it ends. Those people don’t have the maturity (or good taste) to realize that there is so much more to a Charlotte Olympia shoe than an expensive price tag.

Do any “Charlotte Olympia lovers” still exist? Absolutely. There are still men out there who understand, recognize, and appreciate quality and character. Not all men want a “Steve Madden” or “DSW” type of woman. But you don’t find those men shopping at JC Penny or Sears. You find them shopping at Barneys and Niemans. In other words, you don’t find men looking for quality women in places where the “cheaper” women are readily available. Think about it: have you ever seen some Charlotte Olympia in DSW?

At the end of the day, the good news is this — you can choose what you’d like to be. If you want to be a women of standard and quality, be that. If you don’t care, that’s fine too. But just understand that it takes a little bit longer to the Charlotte Olympia to be “sold.” But take care of them, and they’ll last you the rest of your life.

(Author’s Note: I’m not picking on Steve Madden because I think they’re horrible shoes, but compared to Charlotte Olympia , they’re not on the same page. And it sounded good. LOL )

Written by Stuart McDonald

HFM Side note 
Ultimately, I believe that it is a man’s duty to guide the relationship in the way that it should go. (I know plenty will disagree with me and that’s fine.) And if it’s a man’s duty or responsibility to control the relationship, then he must be the one to initiate, not only the relationship to begin with, but initiate each step as the couple grows closer and more intimate.

Feel free to share your thoughts ............... :)

1 comment:

  1. I like the article, very well written. The problem with the analogy is that men, most men, understand the value of living within your means. When you purchase those olympias the inherent cost associated with them is that you've just followedthe heard and bought into something that is over valued to begin with. My analogy would be closely tied to home ownership. Men are comfortable in apartments and bachelor pads and when we mature to see the value of home ownership that's where we pursue it. Just like a home, we don't want to get stuck with something for a longtime, that we were pressured to pursue because of its perceived value. Owning a home requires more than what's within our pay grade in addition, it's very taxing, physically and emotionally.


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