Dating: How to Make a Quick Exit on a Bad Date

Monday, October 29, 2012

It looks like you need to make a quick exit.

I've been on more than a few bad dates in my lifetime, but I haven't had a seriously bad date in a long time. That's because I've learned what to do. And what not to do. Here are a few tips on how to cut your "oh no!" dates down to a minimum. (Of course, I'm assuming that the badness in the bad date is not your fault.)

By Eleanore Wells

The Only Tip You Really Need

Make the first date a short date. Meet for coffee and dessert. Or a drink. The first date should last an hour. You can tolerate anything for an hour, right? If you like each other, you can always schedule another one for another day.
If you ignore this tip and find yourself out on a good-date-gone-bad, first consider how bad it really is, on a scale of 1-10. What you should do next depends on how you rate this date.
Uh-Oh....Uh-Oh....1 = I'm bored
7 = What a jerk
10 = This guy is psycho

1 = I'm Bored

If he's a nice enough guy but just not that interesting, you should be pleasant about it. Finish your food and drink quickly and start packing your belongings and refreshing your lipstick like it's time to go. He should get the hint. If he doesn't, yawn and comment on your early morning tomorrow. The "yawn/early morning" thing also works if you're at a party. If it's a movie or concert, you don't have to talk to him much anyway, so just enjoy the event and vow to yourself that next time you'll pay better attention to The Only Tip You Really Need.

8= He's a Jerk

I had the misfortune to go on a date with a guy whose ex happened to have the same birthday as mine. Once he had that bit of information, he proceeded to tell me all the ways I was probably just like his ex ("probably," as he said, because he didn't really know me, but since we had the same birthday). At first, I tried to laugh it off and even made a joke about it, while gently reminding him of the universal "You shouldn't talk about your ex on a date" rule. When that didn't work, I tried changing the subject a few times. That worked for the short-term, but he kept finding a way to sneak ex back into the mix. So, I suggested we cut the date short. With a sweet voice and a smile on my face, I pointed out that this clearly wasn't going to be a love connection, thanked him for the evening, and wished him well. When a guy is consistently behaving like a jerk despite your efforts to turn things around, honesty is the best policy. He might not be a bad guy, but he's not on "good date behavior" and you don't have to accept that. If you're not having a good time, politely cut your losses. Say good night.

10 = He's a Psycho

For most bad dates, I think two things: get out as soon as you can, but don't make a scene about it. If it's a seriously bad date and he is clearly and probably intentionally being ugly, I think it's fine to end it however you can. I was at dinner with someone who I decided was mentally unstable. I excused myself to go to the bathroom and kept walking…right out the front door. Safety first. (And, fortunately, he didn't know where I lived.)
But keep in mind, some bad dates are worth it for the laughs and great stories they make. Plus, they make all your other dates seem even better.
What are your tips for ending an awful date?

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